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Refresher Course for Women on How to Win an Argument With a Man

Okay, most of you are going to say -- I win all my arguments with him, I don't need a refresher course. Sure, that's what he wants you to think. But I've been reading the courses available for men on how to win arguments with women, and I have to tell you ladies, we might be in trouble. Have you ever noticed that even after you win the argument, he goes and does the same thing yet again? Is it because he hates you? Is it because he wants a divorce? NO. It's because he wasn't listening when he nodded his head at you; he was just trying to get you to shut up. It means he's been reading those articles too, and that means Trouble.

We don't want to lose our edge here, girls. So, for those of you who haven't quite finessed the art yet, and for those who've become complacent over the years, here is a quick refresher course.

It is, of course, best to nip the head-nodding response in the bud. The first time he ever nods his head at you and says, You know what? You're right. Smile at him and say, I knew it. What do you want to name her? You'll have his undivided attention for the rest of your life. If it's too late for that, and you've already married the bastard, then the next time he does it, smile at him and say, I knew it. I can't wait to tell your mother. You will have his undivided attention for at least another two to three years.

Now that you have his attention, argument two should go much more smoothly. Every time he disagrees with you, add a different topic to the conversation. It will confuse him, distract him, and give you the upper hand in a REAL way. E.g.: He says, I was in my underwear 'coz I don't expect people to just walk into the house unannounced. I was happily drinking beer and watching the Braves. How was I to know your mother would come charging in here? Don't take the bait -- this is his attempt to change the subject. Steel yourself and say: The Braves? Who cares about the Braves? NOW, you're in the lead. He, of course, has to defend the best baseball team in the world. And we all know how to respond to this one, right? You say, Yes, you're right, except for the Dallas Cowboys. While he uses up his energy explaining the subtle differences between football and baseball, all you have to do is bat your eyelashes and wait for him to reach the boiling point of frustration. This is the moment to get back to the real point, Can't you at least put on a pair of shorts while you're guzzling your beer in front of the TV? -- and quickly insert You know, your mother loves the Cowboys. Trust me, you've won this argument.

And lastly, don't ever forget, whenever you're making a point, always add something at the end that insults him a little bit. E.g. Yes, we are lost. You never admit it when you get lost. If you had really huge balls, you'd admit that we're lost. This way, he has to stop and wonder why you don't already think he has enormous balls, and once men start thinking about that part of their anatomy, they never get back to the argument. You will not only have won the argument, but also have gotten the upper hand in the next three to come.

posted by uzqqkdq @ 12:04 AM 0 comments